What’s Life?

I really wanna blog about camp & ytd which was super fun but I’m too busy, about to start tuition, and got this d’ARTS video to edit in 2 days, where originally I was supposed to get 2 months to do it but filming got delayed, so I’m rushing it now.

People always tell me that I have “no life” because I wake up no later than 7.30am every day, I go out with friends shopping probably at most once a year, I hardly watch TV, I don’t go watching movies every month, I don’t go to orchard road EVER (hence I don’t even know what shops there are), I’ve never been to ion, I’m always busy studying & doing work or going church.

But I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t care if I got “no life”, coz things like shopping & movies aren’t say terribly important to me. Heh. But I shall try to balance fun. Besides, why is it that doing these pleasurable things is considered “having a life”… in fact, it seems that doing nothing but bumming around seems more like having no life man.

Siyan… Sian

I feel so sian of everything now. I don’t feel like going for Juniors Camp, I don’t feel like playing for D’Arts, I don’t feel like going to church so many times a week, I don’t feel like going out of my house. I feel like just staying at home and relaxing.

I wish I joined yfc instead. My hols last year were seriously the best!!! Now I can’t believe I’m actually saying something like “I don’t feel like going to church”. I know I”m supposed to serve with joy, serve willingly, serve humbly… but for some reason it’s dying off.

Possibly, probably, I’m not getting enough limelight. I’m being blunt, but I know I’m a very proud person and forever wanting people to think I’m some amazingly good keyboardist/singer.

Lord please revive my initial enthusiasm and do all things with a passion to exalt Your name and Your name only.

Seriously, I think that if I was really doing this for His glory, then my enthusiasm would never ever die.

And I also probably wouldn’t get all mopy and upset just ‘coz I haven’t got the opportunity to sing a song, to play solos on the piano, and instead get stuck with back-up and synthesizer just ‘coz I wasn’t allowed to attend the singing audition and just ‘coz I’m the only kb-ist who knows how to do sound effects (which I actually really dislike doing) -.- Back-up sucks too because when the melody gets really pitchy sometimes, then the harmony totally clashes and sounds utterly horrendous. So it actually brings out the pitchiness even more.

I really need to look to Christ, to turn my eyes upon Jesus, so that the things on Earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. Really, who cares about my own selfish intentions of making my talents (which are God-given!!!) known when it is not even comparable to the greatness of His majesty…

I wish I didn’t know how to play piano, and that I was tone deaf. Then I won’t even be facing these problems. Talents are blessings, that can turn into curses if I choose to deal with them with the wrong heart, mind & spirit. I HAVE been dealing with them so wrongly for too long a time. Holy Spirit lead me please, and grant me humility. Then possibly, I will be rid of these ’sian’ feelings… and a passion for exalting His wondrous Name will be stirred up in my heart.

Again, I’m amazed at His abundant grace & mercies that are new every morning, His steadfast love. Today I was struck at the song “Majesty” that we sang today at service, and that song never fails to remind me again how we sinners are truly hopeless without Christ, who covers us with His grace so FREE. Though my human pride seems to be forever present, no condemnation by His blood, Amen! That’s why we worship our good & gracious God

Crazy Going Slowly Am I, 6 5 4 3 2 1 Switch!

I think I’m going crazy. I typed ‘www.’ in my Internet Explorer address bar, and then I didn’t know WHAT to type (or maybe I forgot my original destination), so I did a keyboard smash, ie www.a049u5039ur02jaw09iaju.com, and then I looked at it and started giggling to myself ‘coz it looked ridiculous. Then I realised that giggling at this silly thing was even more ridiculous, so I giggled even more at the ridiculous-ness of my original giggling -.- I give you permission to giggle as much as you want to (without shame) at these ridiculous giggling spasms.

I miss home! ): I’m at home now, but lately I’ve been attending church so much because of Juniors Camp worship pracs (3 of them!!) and D’arts pracs that I never get to eat dinner at home anymore. My parents are rather upset about this, and I know it’s not my FAULT but aiya… maybe I really have to cut down on church commitments.

On Friday I went to church at 6 for worship practice, for the worship session that I’m leading for Juniors Camp. After that, I had d’ARTS prac at 7 til 9.30.

Today, (or rather yesterday since it’s past midnight), I went at 6 again for Juniors Camp worship practice, for the worship session that Selena is leading & I’m playing keyboard for. After that was Juniors Camp worship practice, for the extended worship session that Rachel’s leading… & I’m playing keyboard for (ok I just realised I should have copied and pasted the previous sentence & then change the keywords).

Tomorrow, will have d’ARTS prac again at 5 to maybe 7 or 7.30.

So essentially I’m missing three dinners with my family. As much as it’s a joy to serve, I think it’s also important to prioritize my family and home life. Ah well, Juniors Camp will be over on Thursday

I owe my family members so many apologies. My dad, for forgetting to change the lightbulb on the ceiling light after he told me to. My mum, for being so rude when defending myself against her accusations of my drinking up too much milk. My bro, for scolding him every day about things he says, ironically not being very nice in the things that I myself am saying to him. My older sis, for complaining to her about things that she doesn’t really care about. My younger sis, for refusing to let her turn the guitar peg when I was changing the broken string and instead, doing it myself. Sounds quite silly eh, but I guess these little things matter. Haha I can’t believe that when school reopens, then I will have more time with my family! So ironic.

Well, I did have some time with my mum when I went shopping on Friday We went to Jurong Point, I bought (well, my mum bought for me) 3 dresses and a shrug (sp?). My mum spent about one hour in this shop that sells aunty-clothes (haha) and I was waiting outside impatiently for her to finish, ‘coz she kept trying more and more clothes, and in the end she bought SIX PIECES o_O I hardly ever buy close to 6 things in one whole shopping day, and she bought them all from 1 shop! I’m very happy with my new dresses though, originally I was so emo about my height and having to deal with short dresses.

Anyway, thank God that all my worship pracs went REALLY SMOOTHLY Whether I was leading or playing,all pracs were great. Yay!

D’arts pracs are a bit more complicated though /: Hard to get the full band tgt in a single prac. Though tomorrow we’re having it at 5 (ensuring that all the EJ, CJ & MM people can make it), Sean & Dickson are overseas. Last week my bro & I were overseas. The previous 2 weeks, the MM people couldn’t come ‘coz prac was at 2. The first few weeks, the CJ people couldn’t come ‘coz prac was at 12. So yah, everyone we need your prayers for this concert! People need to be more committed by being punctual for practises, not play their instruments when instructions are being given to prevent repetition of instructions, be more obliging when it comes to following instructions, not pull out of the band at the last minute, and one more thing. WE NEED A MALE SINGER!!! But God will provide & with God, there’s no way we’re gonna lose hope!

Can’t believe it’s already Sunday tomorrow… or rather (as I’ve said before), TODAY. Happy Sabbath I know I can find rest in Him amidst my busy schedule

My Dad’s Birthday

I just realised I forgot to blog about my Dad’s very eventful birthday! It was last Saturday 5 Dec and we held a meeting beforehand to discuss the birthday schedule.

We all got up at about 6.30 and drove to Bukit Batok Nature Reserve (I think that’s what it’s called) to go walking, because my parents both have this weird passion for walking in nature reserves. So it was like me and my parents would walk quite fast, or sometimes my dad and I would jog a bit, and then be forced to slow down to wait for the three other slowpokes I call my siblings lagging behind. We walked barely 1.5km -.- How lame. Haha and I think my stamina has really improved. I was full of energy at the end of the walk and wanted to go another round whereas my siblings & parents were all sweating and panting (apart from my bro).

Then we went for breakfast. I had this cool pancake thingy where you choose different combinations of filling. Mine was called Egg + Peanut + Cheese pancake! Cool right? They had many other combinations as well. Then I had a peanut sesame ball, and an ang ku kueh with peanut filling (haha dexter don’t kill me for mentioning all this food k?), serious over-dosage of peanuts.

We went home to pack for the Malaysia trip, then Xuan drove me to the Lee’s house to collect the cake which I ordered from Fiona. The trip was really funny, ‘coz we didn’t know exactly where the house was, so we took out the street directory. Xuan was driver, I was navigator. And you know I’m a terribly navigator, what’s more it was pouring cats and dogs. So we didn’t know whether it would be a good idea to go under the underpass, weren’t sure exactly where to turn etc. There was even a point in time when Xuan bent down to look at the map during a red light, and it suddenly turned green but we didn’t realise it, so we stopped in the middle of the road for a few seconds with this huge gap in front of us when the previous car had long since driven off.

Then when we were on Upper Serangoon Road (or maybe it was another road?), we were supposed to turn into Flower Road. So I told Xuan, “It’s right after the GB headquarters”. She didn’t answer, but I assumed she had heard me. So after GB HQ, I was looking out for the next turn, but there were a lot of small openings in the pavement at the side which looked like a turn, and none of them was Flower Road anyway. Then we approached this turn and I suddenly saw the sign FLOWER ROAD. But Xuan was going way too fast to turn, so I screamed “EH, XUAN TURN HERE!!!” Then she screamed “WHAT!?!?!” and quickly swerved, after which it was a whole other minute of screaming at each other, ie she screamed at me for not warning her sooner and I screamed back to say that I HAD told her. “WE COULD HAVE DIED!!!” Hahaha Xuan’s so funny when she drives… and nervous too.

Anyway, we collected the cake. Haha they have a chicken/rooster outside their house. I’m really scared of birds /:

We went home to finish packing and had lunch. Before lunch, we did this recital for my dad, playing 2 of his favourite pieces. I on the violin, Xuan accompanying me on the piano. Humoreske (Dvorak) and Salut D’Amour (Elgar). Very easy pieces on the violin, since I skipped all the double stops!:) I cheat, but whatever. My dad still enjoyed it.

We finished packing, then we ate the cake which was awesome and the design was sooper-dooper cute… Fiona’s so pro! My mum said the cake was v nice too. Heheh. I couldn’t bear to cut up the cake coz it meant chopping up the design & ruining it. I love durian! Xuan said the durian content wasn’t high enough -.- That’s why for her birthday last year, we got her a pile of durians and stuck a candle in them. Seriously, she should just stick to eating durian by itself since she loves durian so much and not let durian cakes, puffs, or crepes get in the way(: Hahaha. The cake was very cool though! I admire people who can cook/bake ‘coz I don’t even know how to crack an egg.

After cake we went to watch Mulan in Tiong Bahru Plaza. It was terribly sad that Mulan didn’t end up with the guy. Of course all the love story rubbish isn’t actually what happened in the real historical story. But it’s for drama’s sake. Zhao Wei is way to pretty and girly-looking to be Mulan though. Jaycee Chan really looks like Jackie Chan, too bad he had to die in the movie ): I cried when he died!

After movie, we went shopping. I got a bit annoyed and emo because I couldn’t buy any clothes I wanted as I was too tall for them (or rather, they were too short for me). This is when being tall sucks!!!

Then we went for dinner…

Then we went home and I packed my Malaysia bag (I secretly didn’t really pack in the afternoon though I was supposed to, heh). What an eventful birthday, I don’t ever recall any of us ever having such an elaborate birthday. Haha, well since we’ve got SO MANY family members, it would probably take a whole lot of time to plan 6 big birthdays a year. 8 if Jiejie and FX were still in S’pore.

JB Trip

We went to JB on Sunday after church with Parents’ Model BAG group from church. 13 adults, 11 youths, 7 kids. That is if you count my brother as a youth.

I got a shock when we got to the hotel, because I didn’t KNOW that we were gonna be staying in a 5-star hotel! It was amazing, the walls were all glass, there were lots of spiral staircases, a very big gym with cool equipment, a huge pool, a spa and jacuzzi, carpeted floors etc. The bed was nice too My 2 sisters and I squeezed (well actually we had ample space) on the king-sized bed.

The buffet breakfast was excellent! Roti Prata/Canai, dim sum baos, siew mai, lor mai kai, fresh eggs, nasi lemak, fried noodles, sausages, ham, cheese, hashbrown, baked beans, potato mayo salad, curry chicken, beef rendang, a gizillion different types of bread/muffins/cakes/buns, bread & raisin pudding, pancakes, salad, fruits. Well that’s what I can actually remember.

And DUH, of course I overate, that goes without saying!
  <– Just so you know, that’s a grimace, not a smile.

I went to the gym on the first afternoon, by myself. I walked there with HIGH SPIRITS, like YAY I get to exercise on a trip in a high-class gym. But when I got there, I had to sign in at the counter, and the guy gave me a towel (compulsory!).

I entered the gym and whoa, it was really posh. The walls were all black and shiny, it was quite dark. Sigh, and you guessed it, I was the only girl there. The rest were about 5 of these super-duper muscular and buff men who were doing the weights/treadmill. Compared to them I look like a stick. So I stood in the corner, terribly awkward and pretended to look at my handphone. HAHA (blush) I didn’t dare to start using the equipment because I thought I’ll look very noob next to these guys who look as though they do weights every day of their life. They stared at me as though I was some alien

Then this extra buff Malay guy came up to me and asked me if I needed help. He explained that he was the fitness trainer and told me how to use certain machines. WAH I BET he thought I was darn noob so he was trying to help poor me. Haha, how embarrassing. And they didn’t have the calf machine ): Stayed there for 40 minutes. They had so many arm machines and only 2 leg ones. My arms are really weak, but my legs are okay. I did more than 2 times the number of weights on the leg machines than the other guys did -.- I wonder why they did so few.

So basically it was a time of eating, watching TV, eating, playing games like Quiddler/Tribond/In Other Words/Outburst etc, eating, talking, eating, sleeping, eating, shopping, hmm and one more thing… oh that’s right, eating!

During the 2nd night dinner, we were sitting at the same table as Aunty Beow Tuan, and suggesting that we play some Bible games after dinner when we get back to the hotel. And you know what she said? “NO NO NO must split up the LIMS! All the 6 LIMS will form 6 separate teams, and then the rest of us will form the seventh team and compete against you!” We immediately demanded WHAT ABOUT PASTOR, and so she said he was to be the referee. Haha, she was really funny. I laughed like crazy, it’s really ridiculous how people think the “lims” are some amazingly smart creatures.

I’d like to clarify that I’m no where as smart as my siblings and parents when it comes to Bible knowledge. And as fun as it is being labled as a genius by the church people just because of my surname, just wanna say that it isn’t true and I’m as noob as you are (note, “noob” is relative, not calling anyone noobs) or actually possibly even worse.

But yes the Bible games were really fun, though up to a certain point it seemed as though it were my mum, Xuan and my brother competing against each other, where they answer immediately while most of us haven’t actually digested & absorbed the question yet -.-

Oh well, I had lots of fun, thank God for the fellowship (:

I feel like I miss home a lot, because I keep going away and then coming back. Like I went to Cambodia, then I came back, then I went to Malaysia, then I came back, and next week I’m going off again for Juniors Camp, and then coming back, and then before I know it the holidays are gone and I’m mourning for my lost youth while refusing to admit that I’m a Secondary FOUR student.

Today I started on my holiday homework (finally…), and I wrote my name at the top, after which I had to write my CLASS. So I was about to write “3R”, when I remembered, so I wrote “4R” instead, and I immediately started panicking and staring at the number “4″ in dismay.

LS Children’s Camp

On Sunday (29 Nov), I went for Sunday School at 8.30 (me & Aunty Agnes alone as usual, sigh) and she said, “I told Pastor Albert that you will be able to help out in the LS Children’s Camp.” I had to stifle the initial “WHAT?!” that was going to come out of my mouth because I didn’t really remember agreeing to help out, and it had honestly slipped my mind so I forgot to ask my parents for permission. I was quite annoyed by the whole situation, actually, and I didn’t remember agreeing to help out. Anyway, I think my parents were also a bit annoyed at first, but they let me help out, and I even managed to convince my younger sis to go help out too.

Expected to be bored throughout camp, either that or to be completely drained trying to control uncontrollable kids. I admit that I’ve always lacked faith in the area of taking care of children. Frankly I’m quite nervous when it comes to dealing with them – how to be firm when they’re misbehaving and yet prevent them from crying? It’s a skill that has to be mastered, and I’m horrifically frightened of children that I accidentaly cause to cry /:

Well it was basically a very relaxed camp. In fact, it was so relaxed that we had random slots of “free time” or “resting time” (which incidentally became a “jiejie can I go play during free time? Can you bring me to go eat? Can I go downstairs and buy drinks?” disturb-the-jiejies-time). After every meal, we’d have about one hour of resting time (called “digestion”). Other than that, it would be games (lead by Hui Jie and Wen Lin who are kid campers themselves). So our job was just to make sure the kids behave, don’t get killed, and then we can join in the fun ourselves

Of all the games we played, most of it was Captain’s Ball. This was probably the only game where everyone would enthusiastically participate (albeit some small girls didn’t fancy running around with a ball and sweating through their shirts as being particularly fun). It’s pretty fun playing Captain’s Ball when you’re (or rather, I’m) the tallest person playing. Noel & Jerry are probably slightly shorter than me, and I’d like to say that it wasn’t very fair because Noel & Jerry are big guys who dare to be rough (I’VE GOT THE SCRATCHES TO PROVE IT) and so it was usually a case of whoever was on Jerry’s team would win. As enthusiastically as I tried to play the game, it’s quite hard to when there are these kids who are 2/3 your height running around you, causing the presence of the danger of stepping on them or tripping over them. But I admire the effort of the kids, and the persevering spirits of those on the losing team (ie my team, the non-Jerry team, haha).

Other games that HJ and WL put in a lot of effort to organise (typical games like squeezing-on-the-newspaper, blow-wind-blow, AEIOU), some kids got quite bored and simply said “I don’t feel like playing”, after which they would either go bang on the Social Hall piano, or go to the kitchen, or just wander around aimlessly. Admittedly I was quite disgusted with this attitude of “if I don’t like the game, then I just don’t play and go do what I like” and tried to tell the kids that they are campers and have to participate in what has been organised for them. But heck, they’re kids & will take time to understand.

Meal times were chaotic too. Some boys didn’t fancy eating and instead, would go to the swings outside the kitchen to play. It was common to see a group of three kids sharing one portion, and then leaving more than half of it uneaten. But of course there were other kids who could eat more than one portion. I realised that kids are really very fussy – when they don’t like the food, they only eat a tiny bit. When they like it, they eat more than their fair share. And it was quite clear that those kids who are really very skinny were those that eat very little, and those fat and round ones (ok la, quite cute) were those that could eat more than 1 portion.

The kids threw a mini “concert” for their parents on the last night. I was terribly shocked when Shang came and told me “ok you go next” when I didn’t even KNOW that I was supposed to perform anything. Fumbled a very inaccurate Nocturne by Chopin & made up my own ending. No score either ): How embarrassing. Kids’ efforts were admirable though.

The campers were:
Wenjie & Wenlin
Hui jie (WL’s classmate)
Carine & Megan
Charlotte & Ivan 
Denise & Rina (newbees, cousins of Charlotte)
Tedmund (also Charlotte’s kuz but from our church)
Janine & Joshua
Bryan (newbee)
Bryan & Jonathan
Joel & Emmanuel
Emmanuel Chong
Daryl

I think I left somebody out /: A lot of little boys. Anyway, Denise & Rina accepted Christ on the first night Yay! Basically I took care of Denise, Rina, Charlotte & Ivan the most. Ivan was magically kicked to the girls dorm because Tedmund refused to take care of him (tsk tsk) so Denise, Rina & Charlotte had to take care of him, and since I was taking care of them, then I took care of him. I felt like his mother, brought him to bathe and everything, cover him with blanket & pull down his shirt when he pulled it up in his sleep -.- Haha, he’s cute la. Janine & Joshua are quite hard to handle sometimes, for different reasons. The older girls are reasonably well behaved, Megan too

The little boys are quite naughty :X Especially emmanuel wong. He tried to attack me with a broomstick and tried to spit at me, kick me with his shoe, punch me, scratch me, sit on me, jump on me etc. ZZZZZ.

I’m glad to have helped out in this camp It was fun and got to know the LS kids better (and I think WenJie & Tedmund are coming for Juniors camp, YAY!). They’re a cute bunch, albeit some are a bit rebellious but they’ll grow to become youths, then adults, and then take care of their own kids. I’m still  a kid too, just an older one.

Ramblings

I had predicted that I would definitely eventually get lazy to blog and give it up completely, but I didn’t think that the moment would arrive so quickly. & judging from the lack of comments, (albeit there were quite many at first), I”ve come to the conclusion that nobody reads this (except you my dear jie ). But nevermind, I won’t quit! Mphffff actually I bet I will sooner or later.

I’ve decided to abandon my original intention of giving a detailed recount of each and every single day of my Cambodia trip (and wowee, there are 3 ‘of’s in that sentence I just typed, sigh). It’s too tedious, and I’ve no idea at all how I managed to do just that in my previous blogs.

Here’s some stuff that happened that I feel is worth mentioning:

1. Flight to Phnom Penh was well and good

2. Townview Hotel was acceptable

3. Buffet breakfast had a limited variety but I still enjoyed it

4. Children at the Lakeside T-House are amazingly enthusiastic, receptive, and obliging

5. Albeit somewhat violent when displaying their affections for us strangers

6. Whitewashing (or rather, yellow-washing) the walls was fun because my face and arms and clothes got so splattered with paint that Ms Kek demanded that a close-up shot be taken of my spotty face

7. Our painting of Moses (Red Sea) and David (+Goliath) turned out to be very cute and presentable

8. I had the opportunity of attending a Khmer service which I enjoyed and that thankfully, had English translation. It’s not much different from PLCMC, (ie electric guitars, bass, keyboard, microphones and all the techno stuff), though a lot smaller with less people

9. I didn’t enjoy the visit to the Genocide Museum and Killing Fields, but agree that it’s an eye-opener

10. We walked along the streets of Phnom Penh to see what people do on Sunday afternoons. It’s a bustling busy street with people walking around selling things which they choose to display in large baskets that sit on top of their heads. Their sense of balance is amazing.

11. Ms Kek bought some cockroaches and worms (deep fried for your pleasure) and tried to force feed us with it (well she dangled it in front of our faces and exclaimed enthusiastically “Come on girls, try it! It’s NICE!” while shrieks of pure horror were emitted from the bus)

12. We saw a random elephant walking beside the motorcycles and cars on the road

13. Journey to Siem Reap was… bumpy ): They should seriously pave their roads again.

14. On the way to Siem Reap, the toilet stop had this banana seller who tried to sell bananas to Zoe and I. Somehow we were forced to agree after her persuasive methods. First she asked for Zoe’s name, then she said “Do you understand Chinese? Ni zhen piao liang!”, “How old are you? I’m 16″, “I will forever remember you, you must remember me too okay?” etc. In the end I gave her the 2 bucks and let her keep the bananas.

15. The new hotel was very nice (: Like a bigger version of the previous one.

16. I spent a truckload on souvenirs (which I haven’t gotten rid of yet, anyone want Cambodian pencils & keychains?) because we visited the night market there.

17. Angkor Wat temples were very beautiful, and our tour guide Mr Thet was amusing. I love his accent and how he’d unconsciously agree with himself after every sentence he uttered (ie “And this carving represents the separation between heaven, earth, and hell… yeah… yeah yeah… yeah” I LOVE THE “YEAH”)

18. I accidentaly formatted my camera’s memory card in the middle of the trip. I emo-ed at my careless stupidity for about one hour, and then went crazy again and managed to not think about it And I recovered about 2/3 of the photos using a software so really thank God for that. And also thank God for my pal Zoe who took about 2000+ photos so really it’s no loss on my part.

19. I overate during the trip. We had a ginormous buffet on the last night with 3 buffet counters, and after I was through with the first counter, I barely had any room left, but obviously I still went to eat more. I ate so much I felt sick. And buffet breakfasts didn’t make things better (I’d eat 2 toasts, 2 eggs, 2 bananas and lots and lots and lots and lots more). Almost every meal was like chinese rice + dishes & my teachers were all amazed at the amount of vegetables I could eat (and also the amount of meat Zoe ate).

20. The trip back to Singapore was terrible. I nearly puked on the plane, and after the plane had landed, I rushed to the bathroom to puke but nothing but a gigantic BURP came out (which did make me feel better) and when I got out of the toilet (the flush is way too loud, I swear), there was only the air stewardesses, Ms Kek & Zoe left on the plane waiting for me. Gee how embarrassing.

And then I immediately fell sick with diarrhea, fever & vomiting. Spent 38 bucks on the doctor’s trip and got 5 types of medicine, of which I consumed about 1/5 of it and then got better, so the rest is still merrily sitting on my kitchen table, UNUSED.

The night I came back was like a nightmare. I kept getting up in the middle of the night wondering what the heck was going on and why my brain felt so fuzzy and there was pain in my stomach and head. I think being sick does very weird things to a person’s brain, because I remember having thoughts like “what should I do”, “where should I go”, “what on earth is going on”, “should I sleep in this position or that position”, “would puting on the blanket be appropriate?”, “should I lie this way or that way” etc. I kept asking myself weird questions and I felt like the world was turning around and I just didn’t know what to do about it. I got up 3 times in the night and tried to poop & vomit but nothing came out. At about 5am I finally managed to puke and seems like the vomit accumulated or something. And in the morning, my mum demanded an explanation as to why I didn’t immediately go and find her when I felt sick. For the first time in a long time (weird phrasing, but true), I felt like eating was such a burden. Now I can’t even imagine what that must feel like.

But thank God for His healing, was almost completely well the next morning and could go for my sister’s GB play thingy. And I don’t like people who comment about my weight (loss). In front of my parents. People meaning teachers. That day it happened 3 times, brrr.

I have to get started on my holiday homework (though some bad influences [or rather, an INFLUENCE] around me keeps telling me that doing the homework is completely unnecessary, tsk). However, I don’t know what the homework is. I remember writing it down somewhere, and now I don’t remember WHERE I wrote it. Seriously, my brilliance never fails to surprise me.

If you’ve read this, please comment. If not I will delete this blog, and then go hide in a corner and mourn about my failures to write about things that are even close to being remotely interesting.

Cambodia Day 1

I’m scared to even begin this entry (I can foresee it being a long one) but here I am with the diary I used for Cambodia propped up in front of me, ready to begin!

Day ONE

We met at the airport at 5.45am and I had what I believe was my first Macdonalds meal of the year. Thank God for a safe plane ride there! Checked in at the hotel, which wasn’t too bad, and went for lunch, and then we went to the Lakeside T-House to do our CIP there. It was a lot smaller & shabbier than I expected it to be, and it’s by the lakeside. We walked around to explore the area. On the ground by the lake, you can see more rubbish than soil /: While looking around the slum areas, we were enthusiastically greeted by this bunch of kids who obligingly (and definitely more than willingly) posed for the 5 or so cameras that were immediately whipped out.

After walking around, we went back to the T-House to carry out our activities with the kids. We broke up into our “stations” for the games, and my station was the origami station. So Jacklyn lead the first round (how to fold a boat). I felt so terribly demoralised because I got lost halfway during her explanation on how to fold the boat, whereas most of the children (like aged 4 to 6) could fold it and I COULDN’T EVEN FOLD IT no matter how hard I tried -.- Like there’s something wrong with my brain when little kids can do origami and I, who is more than twice their age, can’t. And then the paper airplanes were even worse, because we tried following the explanation provided by the box in which the origami paper came in, and it turned out to be a disaster, so in the end we invented our own way of folding the plane (which turned out not bad) but there WAS a lot of confusion at the beginning. I’m so not cut out for origami.

Then we swapped stations and now we were doing this jigsaw puzzle thing. I managed to get this girl (maybe about 8 years old) to be interested in the puzzle, and she got really good at it. Then her little brother tried to do the puzzle too and had trouble, so the older sister snatched away the puzzle pieces and did everything for him. At first I didn’t know how to tell her something like “oi! Let him do la” when they barely understand English, but through sign language, the older sister actually understood. So when her brother failed to do the puzzle again, she let him pick up the puzzle piece and then she held his hand and they fixed it TOGETHER *sobs* I thought it was really sweet. HAHAHA (I know I”m spoiling the moment by saying ‘haha’ but whatever!).

Then the kids got really bored so Mrs Tan came up with some brilliant impromptu activities to do like singing songs, playing london bridge, teaching them ‘Head Shoulders Knees and Toes’ etc. Haha I really admire Mrs Tan, she can really interact well with the kids and do all that impromptu stuff. Doing the hokey pokey was enjoyable too, forcing the kids to turn when “you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around” by clinging on to their shoulders. They must have been utterly confused as to why all these old people were shaking random body parts here and there at different parts of the hokey pokey song.

There was this overly violent and hyper girl who took a sudden liking to me for no reason whatsoever and begged to hold my hand when we were playing London Bridge is Falling Down (you should see the photo zoe took of the two of us, my hands are horizontal and hers are vertical, forming a perfect 90 degrees when we join hands) and when we were playing Jacob’s Ladder, she demanded that she have the awesome privilege of sitting on my lap. Her method of actually placing her body on my lap was JUMPING, and she kept getting off and jumping on top again. OUCH! Sweet and enthusiastic displays of affection, but painful too. And she was also jumping on top of my legs with her two feet. She also kept turning around to hug me. It’s amazing how these kids just warm up to you so fast, makes S’pore seem like such a cold place (NO, NOT LITERALLY).

I saw another incident involving the sister & brother I mentioned just now. When we were playing Jacob’s Ladder, I motioned at her to come and join us because she was just sitting at the side watching us with these really humungous wistful eyes. She shook her head and pointed at her little brother, who looked a bit upset (I think he’s like REALLY antisocial, and takes more interest in putting random things like balloons in his mouth) and didn’t want to join the game, which means that the sis was missing out on the game to stay with her little brother, which again is very sweet (I won’t laugh now, let you tear at this tear-inducing proof of the beauty of siblinghood).

Admittedly I was a bit awkward with the kids there because of the language barrier – it sounded stupid trying to talk to them if they didn’t really understand 9/10 of the things I was saying. But after a while, I realised that the kids are really just so open and warm towards you (albeit being overly excited about you sometimes) that you can just talk back at their excited jabbering.

Overall I really thank God that our 1st CIP day turned out to be such a success. We enjoyed ourselves, the kids enjoyed themselves. It was really great teaching/playing with the kids. They were an extremely enthusiastic bunch and their obliging attitudes made everything a whole lot easier. When I drew a flower, they automatically copy the drawing on another piece of paper. During action songs, when you clap, they clap. When you sit, they sit. When you stand, they stand. I swear they’re model students!!!

I suck at origami!

Jigsaw Puzzle Station

Spot The Difference station (which became a coloring station since the kids didn't really know what it meant to spot the difference)

 Gah, the day 1 post is so long already. I’ll do day 2 another day in another post.

Thee Oh Levels

Alrightz manz! Chinese O Levels is over! Paper 1 was relieving (I remember losing my head completely and flipping out the previous night about Paper 1) and Paper 2 was terrible. The zong he tian kong was a guessing game. Well, actually more like a “pick-a-random-number” game, or a “pick-the-phrase-whose-meaning-I-do-not-know” game, or a “pick-the-most-chim-looking-option” game, or a “pick-my-favourite-number-between-one-to-four” game etc etc). I needed to pee so badly during Paper 1 I was so annoyed at the teachers for taking such a long time to dismiss us. Luckily Qinjun wasn’t sitting in front of me (but instead, behind) ‘coz I always just get more stressed out when I see her swiftly and casually circling all 10 answers of the zong he tian kong in like half a minute while I’m still stuck at number 2.

Anyhow, it’s over, and as unlikely as I think the chances of me getting an A are even close to high, I shall not think about that anymore. Except that when my dad was driving me home from violin lesson which was after the exam, the car driving in front of us had the numbers 1162 on its number plate -____- That’s the code for the express chinese o level paper.

I think I have BED. The more I restrict the more I cave in. And I have this flawed thinking that “since I’ve ruined my day already by caving in, why not ruin the day WITH A BANG!”

Today’s CCA was so fun. The rest of the Sec 3s went to Europe for their sch trip so I was the ONLY Sec 3 there. And Mr Chan decided to spring a surprise on us by bringing along Mr Oh our new conductor to present the ensemble to him. He obviously didn’t expect that only 18 members would be present today. And we played TERRIBLY omg. Hahaha, but he’s really cool!!! He was a violist in a rock band and played as part of the American Idol 2006 band, and also played for Chris Daughtry, Linkin Palk, Michael Buble along with a whole long list of other super duper famous people. Anyway, we had to sight read some relatively easy Little Suite, and played the double violin concerto too (I like I like!!!).

I really wonder what our ensemble is gonna be like next year, with the change of conductors and the humungous batch of Sec 4s graduating out.

P.S. I am going to be in Cambodia from this Friday to next Thursday, really looking forward to the trip with my 13 other school mates. We’re going to a centre for the slum kids and painting their walls, teaching English, playing games, washing their hair etc etc. And sight-seeing too. Somehow I think this trip will be more meaningful than the Japan/Korea/NZ/UK etc trips that the rest of the Sec 3s are going for, though I bet they’re gonna have tons of fun pigging out and playing, haha I’ll have tons of fun playing with kids. Yay! But what if they don’t like me? HAHA. Keep us in prayer, that we may be a blessing towards the Cambodians. And learn to behave ourselves too

Today’s Sabbath

Today we had extended worship for Juniors (well not really extended, only about 10+ songs) and I lead the 3rd slot. I’ve thought about me being a worship leader before, and sometimes the word “leader” kind of scares me. Haha, when Joanna first asked me whether I could lead this week, I was kinda scared at first ‘coz it IS my first time, and it’s for extended worship, and no one my age has lead before in juniors, and questions like what if it’s not my calling, what if I’m doing it totally wrongly etc etc just kept bombarding my mind. But anyway, it was pretty cool, in fact I didn’t even feel like I was a worship leader, but I was just worshipping along with everyone else. Partially because I was playing & leading, so I was hidden behind the piano (I think some people at first didn’t know who on earth was the worship leader, LOL) and so everyone was just singing along to my piano playing. Thank God anyway, though there were some screw ups like my POWERPOINT had to be retyped (so it became huge black arial font against white background) and terrible transitions from one worship leader to the next due to lack of practice. But God looks at the heart, and though my heart is not pure, by His blood there’s no condemnation, and that’s why we worship! Okay, so my experience in leading worship wasn’t particularly dramatic (ie not amazingly splendid or drastically disastrous) haha but thank God He was still there in our midst

Then after church we had D’Arts practise. The EJ guys came terribly terribly terribly late. >:( Xiaowei and this girl called Shimin came too Yay! Finally some CJ people are joining us. I think the two of them are very cute. Haha! Now I’m back-up singing too as well as playing keyboard and Shimin is playing 1st keyboard for When You’re Gone and I’m playing 2nd (though there was no 2nd keyboard today).

I secretly wanna sing a song on my own, but I missed auditions ‘coz of EOYS. Okay maybe it IS for the best because I know I have a nerves problem ): And the rest of the world knows this too. Ever since I fell sick during talentime and screwed up on stage I think my nerves are like suffering even more. I totally don’t get how people can sing when their hearts are gonna burst out of their rib cage and there’s that clutching feeling at the back of their trachea. Well, maybe that doesn’t even happen to them, and they’re not nervous at all. But I feel it’s a waste of my voice. Not saying my voice is wonderful or anything, but I do sing well when I try. Sometimes. Haha. Thank You God for singing, but what am I supposed to do with it? Maybe nothing? (: Ah, sometimes I really wish I sang like crap.

Took the bus home from the bus stop outside plmgs and I saw xinyi from MM there. And I said “HELLO do you remember me?” and she said NO ): Humph. To think I made friends with her the first day of camp orion and helped her find her group and asked her a lot of questions about her life (and no I wasn’t intruding)!!! Haha but I think after a while she remembered. Fell asleep throughout the terribly long 151 journey. Hopefully my sleep has been replenished after last night /:

I love Sundays! Don’t you?